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About the Act
Meet the Wenches
» Keirra
» Sheila
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» John-Paul
Portrait Gallery
Stalkers Fans
Tour Schedule
Wench Theatre
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What's New?


Sorry, the only thing open right now is Sheila's bloomers, but keep checking... We'll have the store ready for business soon... *

Since the wenches obviously don't make money actually doing laundry, they have decided to try other ways to make a living. (Stop that. That's not what we are implying!)

Welcome to the official Washer Well Wench virtual souvenir stand. The more you buy, the happier the wenches will be and everyone knows...

"Always keep your wench happy!"

Items under $5.
(From our "cheapskate" catalog.)
  • Wench Buttons—For a tip of $2 or more, you can show your support of (or obsession with) the Washer Well Wenches by proudly wearing one of these spiffy 2 1/4" buttons. Some of the various sayings include:
    • Forget the clothes! Wash the Rogue!
    • Forget the clothes! Wash the Man!
    • Just because I do your dirty laundry doesn't make me your wench!
    • G marks the spot.
    • Is it Trash Day?
    • It's not our fault if your kids get the jokes.
    • Proud to get dirty with the Washer Well Wenches.
    • Mommy and Daddy let me watch...
    • Yes, they are real.
    • If you're dirty and you know it, find a wench!
    • I've been getting dirty with the Washer Well Wenches.
    • I'd rather be wench pressed.
    • We clean dirty laundry, not minds.
    • I saw them up close!
    • Washer Well Wenches like it DIRTY!
    • 2002 New Worlde Tour
    • Willa! Willa! Willa! Willa! Willa! Willa! Willa! Willa! ...
    • I'm going to the tavern!
    • If we're gonna do your laundry, you gotta take off your clothes.
    • Official Washer Well Wench Stalker Fan
    • Rogue
    • Wench
    • Three years is poultry.
    • It's an inside joke.
    • Get your own!Your momentary lapse of brilliance has passed.
    • Doesn't every woman want a really big rooster?
Items under $20 but more expensive than $5.
(From our "more money than a cheapskate, but still not necessarily a big spender" catalog.)
  • T-Shirts—For a tip of $10 or more you can s how your support of (or obsession with) the Washer Well Wenches by proudly wearing one of these (various sized) T-Shirts. Various sayings and some even have pictures...
  • Willa's Pillas—seepy seepy? Coming soonly...
Items of Other Prices.
(From our "items of other prices" catalog.)
  • Wench DollsFor a tip of $15 or more you can show your support of (or obsession with) the Washer Well Wenches by proudly displaying a handmade, one-of-a-kind polymer clay figure of your favorite (or least favorite, we don't mind) wench. Or even John-Paul (he doesn't mind, either, which is why he's always in trouble).

* Yes, there will really be Washer Well Wench merchandise for sell on this site and, hopefully, at most of the festivals we perform at. (Some events do not allow acts to sell items without paying to also be merchants.) If you have any suggestions on wench-appropriate (whatever that means) items we should offer, feel free to drop us a note. Keep in mind, though, that any ideas you give us (thank you!) that we use and which make us filthy rich (we have half of that done already) beyond our wildest dreams won't necessarily help you at all since we are quite stingy with our money. So, in other words, don't give us any suggestions unless you are giving us permission to steal your idea and run with it.

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